Wedding Advice: Groom's Edition
Weddings are the most important day of a woman's life. A new-age philosophy has tried to make its way up by stating that weddings are for groom's too, but I vehemently deny it. Women grow up imagining their grooms and wedding day, whereas men dream about superheros. So why should they get to share in the limelight? However, that doesn't give you the passport to roll out of bed, shower, and put a sherwani on for that important day. A groom must look perfect for his bride as well. It's quite exciting when the groom shares in the excitement of preparations for the wedding without putting in their two cents in every two seconds. So guys, if you are reading this, listen to me, support your future wife through this process and agree on everything.
We have broken down some tips for you so you can look your very best and your fiancee can be proud to call you her husband on your wedding day. So here goes:
1. Budget: We seriously encourage the couple to talk about this before they even get engaged. It's important to gauge what the other is thinking before involving family. Discussing details as in what events to have and who will be responsible for them financially is critical in making sure there are no conflicts when the actual process begins. Once you are engaged and you decide your parents will be contributing, it is important to incorporate their opinions as well. Nowadays, due to all the expenses, Mayoun, Mehndi, Nikkah and Baraat is the bride-family's responsibility and Sangeet/Qawali Night and Valima is the groom-family's. However, you can decide to have any amount of events as long as your budget allows it. There is a trend that I hope sticks which is combining Mehndi and Shadi and calling it a Shendi. I say do that if you want have a limited budget. You will be less tired and richer.
2. Wedding Outfits: There are a plethora of designers and brands for bridal outfits, however, there is a new, emerging market of grooms-wear as well. As people become more aware of how they want to look, they want to look for options that match their visions and boy, in Pakistan they won't be disappointed. Some brides like to color coordinate their wedding outfits with their grooms. I say it's not a must and it's totally up to the individual couple. If the groom wants to carry his own look (and the bride is okay with it ;) ), then by all means go for the colors and designs that suit you. Traditionally, Mehndi is when you want to look very festive and colorful. Weddings are for a white or black sherwani. I strongly advice to stick those colors because if the groom wears different combinations of colors as well, it looks like a big ol' mess in photographs. You can get creative with embroidery and fabric.
3. Accessories: It's nice to have little meaningful touches in your wedding attire. Having a tie clasp, cuff links and a handkerchief gives a groom a polished look. These days grooms color-coordinate these items with the bride's outfit. I have seen even color-coordinated socks. It gives the couple a nice personal look. I suggest talk to your bride about this when both of you are selecting your outfits. There should be some sort of coherence, but not monotony in the couple's look so discuss this from the Pagar style to your shoe style.
4. Salon Services: Groom's should look polished and clean as well on all their wedding events. It is important to start a skin regiment months before D-day. Going to the salon and getting facials for your skin-type is highly recommended. On the days of your events, groom's can get sports mani/pedi, their hair styled, and groom their facial hair. N-Gents in Karachi is one salon, which is established just for these purposes. Depending on your face, they can do contouring of your beard, hide acne scars and overall, prep you to look like a king. I highly recommend you make allowances in your budget for these services. Trust me-your photos will thank you.
5. Arranging the Valima: If I was the groom I would stay clear of Valima planning. Do yourself a favor and give this overwhelming task to your family. They will enjoy it, feel more involved and save you all the headache of planning an event. However, you can give input on the feel and look of it. Stay within the budget and personally I wouldn't let the bride interfere with the planning and details of the Valima-it is strictly from the groom's side. It would be a nice touch and a nice present to have a cool car for the exit and entrance. The bride would be very excited about it. Room arrangements and car arrangements are something the groom can do and make it as extravagant and personal as possible. These two items should reflect your personality and should give a clear message of how much you love your new wife. Personally, as a bride, I wouldn't want to be involved in these matters. I like to be surprised.
6. Honeymoon Planning: This is one of the few things a groom is responsible for. Besides the engagement and the wedding ring, this custom is something to be shared by the bride and groom only. In terms of planning, you can ask for ideas from the bride, but since you are paying for it, you get to decide. There is a world full of ideas as to what you can do together. A suggestion would be to reflect on what you would like to be doing. If you want adventurous, tropical, beachy vibe, then go for that. This way your bride can enjoy water sports, meet exotic animals and people, and have food to die for. If you like nature, then there are many options there as well. You can focus on the luxurious part on this honeymoon. Art, food, you name it go in as deciding factors as well. This will not be your first and last trip together, so don't put too much pressure on it. Just have fun!
Hope this helps!